Lost in Hounslow

A girl of about 20, upstairs on a double decker bus during the London tube strike, talking into her mobile phone.

Hey babes, I’m on a random bus somewhere and I don’t know where I am.  Did you know there’s a f’*in tube strike on? (begins to sob)

Yeah? (increasingly panicked) Well no one told me and now I don’t know where I am.

Why, what’s wrong with your day?  Just buck up!

Oh X, oh X, you’re not mean.  You don’t want to be crying for hours every day (stops crying herself)

Yeah, but some of us girls do get bitchy.  But that’s not part of your character. 

Oh, but sometimes I get that and it only lasts an hour.

Don’t be stupid!  I don’t want to make you cry again.

He-lo-o.  Nice people are boring.

X, I think I know where I am now, I’ve gotta go.

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