On the Overground through Hackney

Tall Girl and Short Girl sit down on either side of me on the overground train through Hackney. Tall Girl (fiddling with Blackberry): Stu’s sent me a message.  So has Clare.  Should I tell ’em? Short Girl: Yeah, tell ’em. Tall Girl: What was i’ again? Short Girl: Twelve mumfs suspen’ed sen’ence and sixty hours … Continue reading

Vests and suspenders: fashion conversations

In honour of London Fashion Week, and in reverence of those who can navigate the intricacies of the fashion world with ease and aplomb, I present you with a snippet of conversation from one of literature’s most fashion-conscious men: Patrick Bateman. “Gentlemen.” I cough. “Ahem.  I hate to interrupt, but …” “Okay, okay, go on,” McDermott says.  … Continue reading

There’s one in every crowd: A Compendium of Crowds, from Know It Alls to Laggers

There’s one in every crowd. Yes, you know who I’m talking about: that person sitting off the second aisle, five rows from the front, who insists on asking a lengthy and involved question just as the audience’s energy is flagging.  We’re collectively shifting in our seats, imagining the cup of tea we’ll have when we get … Continue reading